May 29, 2006

Parenthood Entrance Examination Tips

A college friend came over yesterday (we were meeting after almost three-four years, I think) and amidst the nostalgia, I've-been-up-to and state-of-the-nation discussions, the talk came round to parenting. Neither of us remembers how. Or at least, I don't.

However, this friend said, 'there should be an entrance examination for parents.' If you have exams/tests for comparatively trivial things like driving licenses and education, at the very least, something as daunting, and complex as parenthood should require a test. A test that eliminates psychotic, neurotic and other -tics from the gene pool, or some such.

I called it the Parenthood Entrance Examination, or PEE. And we built on that idea from there on. For instance, you'd probably need to study for that kind of exam, right? So you tell your boss, 'I'm planning to start a family. Can I get some leave? I need to PEE.' You would have to pass the PEE to be able to have a child, so that would create alarming and hilarious complications.

For instance, here's some headlines,

'Cinestar Skill-pa Sketty fails PEE; producer husband wants divorce, denies all alimony payments for failing PEE. Says wife was lax in preparing for the exam.'

'PEE paper leaked again. Late discovery means 30,000 children born in the past three months are illegal. Government considering action.'

'Government passes bill for lower passing marks in PEE for OBC/SC/STs. Upper class protests move saying, 'sexual discrimination.'

'PEE touts help you pass it. Rs 300 buys you the right to have a baby. Genetic and mentally deficient, physically able, guaranteed passing.' (advert)

'This year's PEE exam was too tough, say candidates. Sociologists worried about 'missing' generation.'

'Having trouble PEEing? Call us. Our experts help you pass all obstacles'

Er... enough.