Aug 10, 2007

5 drivers you don't want to deal with

Garbage/MCD truck drivers
It varies from city to city but these are uniformly the worst drivers in Mumbai. Give a two-year-old a salad fork and he is only a hazard to himself. Give a frustrated, underpaid, overworked municipal employee a two-tonne truck and it's a rampage. They are always running at high speed, always cutting off other people and in general avoided on pain of death. No, the stink in the wake isn't the biggest problem with these. In fact, come to think of it, riding in the stink might just be the safest thing you could do as far as these chaps go

BARC Buses
It does sound very specific, but they are really that bad. They drive big grey buses ferrying staff to and from work and the drivers think they are Gods to the man. And drive with god-like speed, intimidation and are really nasty

Less said the better. Their ageing rattletraps don't have much power so they like to keep going, momentum being their best friend. So they won't stop for anyone, swerve instead of braking. Accidents are usually serious, so best avoided where possible. The other kind of auto driver doesn't like speed at all. So they sit on top lane at a princely 25 kph and hope everyone else will miss them... even if by a few inches

I think I've written about them before. Ultra slow when the Sahib's in the back and all budding Alonso's when the boss's gotten off. Fortunately, you can spot them in both states from a mile away

Aggro aunties
There's more than a few about. They drive believing that all male drivers are chauvinists and need a female vigilante. They're the car borne equivalents of er... Judge Dredd. They will honk, punish, and if you're really lucky, they'll even show you a finger now and then, and no motherly index finger wagging either


Revhard said...

In Pune you have the top 5 to avoide list :
1} PMT buses : will drive in rightmost lane always and will swerve at last moment to extreme left just few feet before a bus stop. Won't stop at red lights and you're liable to get spat on by a pan-spewing passenger. if it does stop at a traffic light it will stop at left side of the road then will cut across to take a right turn.
2)Autorickshaw - exactly as you mention 20km/h in the middle of the road ; otherwise top speed at evry point on the road to keep you from overtaking. Will attempt stunts Jackie Chan would refuse for $110 billion and a night with Scarlet Johansson.
3}BPO cabs/SUVs : 4 wheeled versions of the 3 wheeled monster. But more deadly with the additional speed they can do.
4)Tanker trucks/Garbage trucks: will spill water making sure you slip in their wake.
By the time they get to their destination , 69.8% of the water they started with has been spilled on the road. The garbage trucks will insist on spreading their "fragrance" and drop some artifacts periodically as if a movie star were showering 100-bills on adoring fans.
5)Cyclists: Will insist on riding across the road just when you want to pass. Else usually found in middle of the road , handle bar swaying left and right leaving you wondering whether he wants to turn or if he's drunk - but it's a ploy to keep you confused and prevent you from overtaking.
5)Economiser riders: Must always stop right in front of you at a rred light ( if they stop ) knowing fully well their 100cc bike with their 70kg pillion is not match for your 150cc+ bike . But impeding your progress and getting you late is their sole purpose in life.
6)Pedestrians : Will not walk on footpaths even where present ,in good shape and clean enough to walk on. Will often walk abreast on the road and curse you if you pass within 12 inches of their shoulder.
WIll not use zebra crossign where provided and dart across a road and then look for approchaing vehicles as an after thought. Will cross the road unmindful of traffic , will quickly raise a flat palm at speeding drivers/riders thinking their palms have 40000 times the stopping power of Porsche's ceramic brakes that the laws of physics no longer apply to stopping distances.

Phew , done ranting :)


JulianPaul said...

nice one revhard !

and the original too rearset.