Dec 30, 2006

Rearset's Annual Motorcycle Awards: List Two

Worst Bike of the Year
Kinetic Stryker
Wins this award for its all round excellence [sic]. The great looking motorcycle [sic] blew everyone at this blog away (me) with its superb attention to detail [sic], brand new technology [resonator, sic]. It also impressed [sic] by selling in single digits right from its launch onwards. Brilliant.

Flimsiest Bike of the Year
Kinetic Blaze and Stryker
Kinetic scores a double from the far touchline! The Blaze appears to have a engine that actually rotates around the suspension, a plethora of a unmatched [as in not fitting, as opposed to unequalled] panels, produces a bagful of screws when you undo them, requires at least four types of spanners to change the rear wheel (only three included in tool kit). Plus the new disc brake version appears to have been hacksawed to make a hole for the master cylinder. For Stryker refer WBOTY.

Worst named Bike of the Year
Hero Honda Pleasure
Here is a name that straddles the erotic, homo-erotic and the simplistic in one, optimistic, far-reaching lunge. Sorry for any sexual innuendo in there, it's all unintended. Just like the scooter's name.

Least Original Bike of the Year
Hero Honda CD-Deluxe
Labelled all-new, the Hero Honda bike 'tackled friction' issues to produce that latest in a string of all-new products from the Haryana-based manufacturer. Plus new details.

Disaster of the Year
LML Limited
The near-demise of LML was mourned by one and all. And a few of us even missed the manufacturer a little. Unfortunately, the scooter to motorcycle manufacturer transition did not go well for the Kanpur-based manufacturer, which is really sad. The CRD100 and the Freedom both promised likeable, if funny looking, motorcycles to come. Not.

Product of the Year
Sony PS3
Still to be launched in India, the game console has already generated serious buzz in the international markets with the long queues, much speculation, few games and the Blu-Ray versus HD-DVD war. But the cool black one won us over. Now, when I can get one for this gratuitous plug?

Ugliest Bike of the Year
Hero Honda CBZ X-Treme and Suzuki Heat
What an exciting and close contest? At rearset's blog we were all astounded by how close my voting went. The sheer poke in the eye goitre-bikini on the CBZ versus the sheer pedestrian rustic-slap look of the Heat. Ultimately rearset gave the CBZ X-Treme 9.9 out of ten for ugliness and then, suprise, gave 9.9 on ten for ugliness to the Suzuki Heat as well!

Too Late Bike of the Year
Bajaj Pulsar DTS-Fi
This is how you nearly kill the most exciting bike of the year. Delay the launch. And again. And then some more. And a little more after that. And then some more for good measure. Why not a little more while we're at it. And finally, you do launch it. All 22 of them. At a superb (no, really) price. In one showroom in the country.... Aaargh.

Did Not Notice It Only of the Year
Suzuki Heat/Zeus
The dull, uninspiring Suzuki's were the easy winners of this hotly contested category. Of all the launches we did not notice in the country, the two russian girls ensured that the two forgettable motorcycles had the most memorable of the least memorable launches in the country.
NB: We'd have given the award to Yo Bikes, but we didn't notice the launch at all...

Most Improved Bike of the Year
Honda Unicorn
What have they done? Well, since the launch, they've fixed the tail piece. They've got new stickers. They've got electric start too. Great job. Honda is also likely to win next year's award, when they introduce alloy wheels. Wow!

Best Sticker Job of the Year
Hero Honda Glamour and TVS Apache
I decided to give this award to two bikes, instead of one (fits in with my everyone gets one guarantee, and is cool). The Hero Honda Glamour wins for having garish stickers EVERYWHERE (except handlebar grips, over the meter faces, footpegs, wheel rims and tyres). The TVS Apache wins for not having any.

Best Cosmetic Upgrade of the Year
TVS Victor GLX
If the bike were a beauty queen, the GLX would be guilty/proud of polishing off the entire range of Shahnaz's herbal goos. And don't it look smashing now?

Overemployed Platform of the Year
Bajaj Pulsar
150, 180, 200, 220. It's got it all. Rumours are floating about of a new BYP (Build Your Pulsar) program where you can order yourself a Pulsar built to your own custom displacement (166.81cc for me, please). Guaranteed to look exactly like any of the others.

Manufacturer Of The Year
For launching the Apache too late
Not launching an upgraded Apache in time
Not launching anything significant this year at all


Anonymous said...

(wild applause from the audience).

vibhu said...

Something I had been waiting for too long. We really need something like this each year... Maybe we can come up with a cynics auto/bike magazine.

Hitting the nail on the head everytime. Good show !

The Dragon said...

very impressed.. :P :)