Rash Riders: The defensive gambit

How I deal with the rash riders is a depends scene... I've created a matrix above on the lines of the win-win win-lose argument theory. I think. Let me explain the four situations.

1. Thug-good mood
   In this case, I will usually suffer the slight and not react. If I get very upset or angry, a couple of deep breaths, or the distraction of sipping water from my Camelbak will usually take care of the elevated blood pressure. Thugs aren't worth messing with, no matter how much carbon-fibre, plastic, kevlar, titanium and fibreglass you have on.
   
   
2. Thug-bad mood
   In this case, I will usually suffer the slight and not react. If I get very upset or angry, a couple of deep breaths, or the distraction of sipping water from my Camelbak will usually take care of the elevated blood pressure. Thugs aren't worth messing with, no matter how much carbon-fibre, plastic, kevlar, titanium and fibreglass you have on. However, if the anger gets really bad, I will usually pull over and stop. Ideally at a chai place or an Aarey milk place and have a drink. That helps.
   
   
3. Idiot-good mood
   If I really feel up to it, I might re-pass him, coming close enough in a very low gear (high revs are very, very frightening) to slap his mirrors with mine or with my armour clad elbow. If I don't feel up to that, and I rarely do, a dark stare from behind a dark visor while parked intimately close at the next traffic light will usually do the trick. Most often though, I will usually suffer the slight and not react. If I get very upset or angry, a couple of deep breaths, or the distraction of sipping water from my Camelbak will usually take care of the elevated blood pressure. Idiots aren't worth messing with either.
   
   
4. Idiot-bad mood
   If I really feel up to it, I might re-pass him, coming close enough in a very low gear (high revs are very, very frightening) to slap his mirrors with mine or with my armour clad elbow. If I don't feel up to that, and I rarely do, a dark stare from behind a dark visor while parked intimately close at the next traffic light will usually do the trick. Most often though, I will usually suffer the slight and not react. If I get very upset or angry, a couple of deep breaths, or the distraction of sipping water from my Camelbak will usually take care of the elevated blood pressure. Idiots aren't worth messing with either. Or, I will simply let him suck some exhaust as I quickly warp into a twinkling red dot on the horizon.
   

At all times, swearing under your breath inside the helmet helps. Screaming inside a helmet only hurts your own ears...

No, I didn't just indulge in a heavy copy-pasting session to tickle the blog post count (rapidly heading to 500...). What I'm trying to get at is that rider education is not an option. Your confronting or acting like a vigilante (as the Americans like to call it) is not going to help. You end up guilty of the very same thing that pissed you off in the first place. Think, 'What an idiot! Who gave him a license?' and direct your rage at the nameless sod – far more creative, distracting and not a chance of a violent reaction at all. Also consider how you ended up in that situation and what you could do to correct it. If it happens very often (and please no angry comments about this), you might be riding too defensively for your own good. At least look aggressive. All it takes is a couple of rather unnecessary blips at the lights, hunch forward purposefully when you can and accelerate with authority when you do.